1

This is totally not home.

It’s a ship of some kind and I’m super far away from Earth (a quarter of a million miles maybe? I don’t really know that, I just want to sound smart).

I’m guessing I should feel shock, but all I feel is numb. It’s not every day that you wake up to find yourself on a ship hurtling away from home.

Of course, I want an explanation, but there is none.

I’m alone.

Being alone is normally not that big of a deal. You sit on the couch, watch television, and stuff snacks into your face until you fall asleep. That’s what I did (used to do), anyway.

But being alone on a ship? Traveling away from home?

That’s different. That’s unique.

And I was never unique.

I am now, I guess.

 

2

It’s been about three weeks and I’m still not sure what I’m doing here. The ship seems set on a specific course, but where that course leads or how long it will take to get there are facts I’m not privy to. All I know is that I passed the moon a while ago and the earth is so small that I have to actively search for it.

Rationally, that thought should be scary, but it isn’t. I no longer feel numb, but the idea of Earth disappearing in my rearview doesn’t seem to matter.

 

3

There’s something out there.

I’m not sure what, but it’s big and directly ahead of the ship.

I would be lying if I didn’t say I was concerned.

 

4

I think it’s almost time to panic.

The previously unidentified object seems to be artificial.

I’m definitely unqualified to determine exactly what the object is, but I’m going to be mildly disappointed if I wind up getting eaten by aliens.

 

5

I’m close enough to the object to see it more clearly, now. It’s huge and seems stationary. So, I guess that means it’s a station? An alien station?

I’m still unsure about that last part, but I’m hoping not.

 

6

TIME TO PANIC!

I’m being towed in. I’M TOTALLY GOING TO DIE!

Probably.

We’ll see…

 

7

I’m not dead.

 

8

So, apparently, this is all my fault.

At least, that’s what I’m being told.

(And if I’m completely honest, it probably is, but I’d prefer to chalk it up to false advertising. That would make me feel better about the situation, anyway.)

This is what happened.

A bad case of procrastination sent me to some questionable corners of the web. It was late and I was feeling more adventurous than I probably should have. One thing led to another and I might have jokingly filled out a form for more information on a few jobs (and other things…we’ll not talk about those) that seemed utterly fantastical.

Happens to the best of us, right? (Don’t lie…it does.)

Basically, I accidentally applied for a position as a janitor on a space station.

And they hired me.