If you’ve been reading Storm at Sea for the long haul, you know I’ve done my fair share of research on how to write a good query letter. And while Over the Edge and Infinity’s Heir have met with limited success (one full and one partial, respectively), it never managed to translate into consistent interest in either manuscript.

Aiko’s Dive is quite a bit better than either of those novels (though I still have a soft spot for the final iteration of Infinity’s Heir that I finished in 2017). The narrative is solid and the writing is lean – both things I’m very proud of. And at around 79K words, it doesn’t feel like a burdensome read (of course I don’t think that, but feedback has been positive, so far).

I’ll admit that I was naughty and jumped the gun a little bit on querying. I sent out seven with an unrefined letter. And, unsurprisingly, I’ve already gotten a few rejections. Some others haven’t responded yet, but I’m pretty sure what to expect if I do get an answer.

Last Thursday, I was feeling the itch to send out more queries, but I decided to ping the writer’s forum I frequent for feedback on the letter. What little I did get was critical of the quality, and multiple query letter writing guides were proposed to help me on my way.

I was disappointed. But, at the same time, I was somewhat relieved. Instead of letting myself fall, headlong, into the same trap – blindly querying agents in an excited fervor because I had a completed manuscript – I was trying my best to refine the letter to give Aiko’s Dive the chance it deserved.

Now, I’ve definitely worked on my query letters before, but there always came a point when I decided that what I had was “good enough.” And I was very tempted to do the same with Aiko’s Dive after a few rounds of revisions last Thursday. Instead, I kept reading guides and revising until I had something that I was somewhat happy with. Then, I didn’t touch it all weekend.

This morning, I looked at the letter again and saw some issues that needed to be fixed. So, I worked on it some more. This is the end result:

Aiko wants a life of her own, but that possibility is stolen when Fletcher adopts her from the Alphanax Orphanage.

As Aiko struggles to understand her new life, Fletcher’s is turned upside down when he receives a message from the mentor he watched die thirty years ago. Aiko accompanies Fletcher to its source, a sunken ship at the bottom of an alien ocean, where his mentor is alive, but not well.

Crazed by an alien affliction, the mentor savages Fletcher, then pursues Aiko through the wreckage. She barely escapes. Now alone, Aiko must make a decision: will she risk her life to save the stranger who adopted her, or leave him behind to forge her own path?

AIKO’S DIVE, a YA sci-fi novel complete at 79,000 words, tells a coming-of-age story where Aiko discovers she has the courage to overcome fear of the unknown, the strength to conquer insurmountable obstacles, and that family can be found in the most unexpected places, under the most unexpected circumstances. It is a stand-alone story with series potential.

While I’m sure the letter could be tighter, I’m very happy with what I have now. This query letter is easily the best I’ve ever written. And I’m not saying that to brag – on the contrary, it’s a recognition of forward progress in the query process.

Since this is the first thing an agent sees, it needs to be perfect. No…it needs to be better than perfect. Reaching that point is the only way I’ll ever get published. While I’m definitely not there yet, this letter feels like a significant step forward in the pursuit of that goal. And, with any luck, I’ll be able to refine it until it sparkles like the diamond in the rough that every agent is ardently searching for.

Wish me luck!