I was going to write something extremely bitter, but after a night of rest and a fresh start (on a Friday, no less), I’m going to write something different.

Yesterday, I got a personalized rejection from an agent.

Despite being the 12th consecutive rejection for my mystery novel (yes, I’m counting), this one stung a lot more. It stung because I was excited about this agent. That isn’t to say that I haven’t been excited about any others, but reading this agent’s profile, their blog, and their previous works, made me think one thing – that I really, REALLY, wanted this person to be my agent.

Even before submitting, I felt something akin to electricity coursing through me.  As I put together query materials, I read everything over and over to make sure that it was perfect. After all, this was the agent that would finally request to see more of what I’ve got – they had to…we were a perfect fit.

The six day wait for a response was agonizing. At three days, I was getting upset, but mostly at myself for putting together something that wasn’t fantastic enough to garner an immediate response. I was letting my nerves get to me.

Then the rejection came.

Like anyone, I had a series of emotions hit me, one after another – disappointment, anger, momentary depression, disbelief, etc. Like a ship in a storm, I was caught in a swirl of feelings, I couldn’t escape from. My first response was to write about it and let me tell you, the result was oh so bitter. I sorely wanted to post what I was feeling, but put it aside, aware that the harsh words didn’t come from anywhere other than a place of negativity.

I haven’t reread the post, but I know I made the right decision putting those words aside.

So, this morning, I’m reevaluating the rejection – looking at it to see exactly what the agent was talking about and what improvements I can make from the few kind words that were written. And they were kind. Of all the words in the rejection, anger blinded me to the most important ones that were staring me in the face. Words that I should have caught, and held on to, the first time I read the rejection:

While your writing style is good…

Compared to the reason my story was rejected, these words should have trumped all else. I submitted a sample of my work to an agent and with only ten pages to read, it was enough to be told that my writing style is good. That’s high praise, even from a rejection. Especially from someone who, most likely, reads hundreds of queries a day. It isn’t a requirement for agents to respond with anything other than a form rejection, but the extra few minutes it takes to give a specific reason to pass on my work and throw in a compliment is more than I could have ever asked for.

So what was the reason? Pacing, apparently.

I only sent ten pages with the query, which doesn’t even get all the way through the second chapter, but that was enough for the specific critique given. Reading back through the sample pages I sent, it’s fairly clear to me exactly why the agent said that. In the first two chapters, a series of events happens in an order that suddenly slows the progress of the story to a crawl. With a little bit of shuffling, I should be able to speed that pacing back up. I’ve already started working on it and I think the flow feels much better. I’ll read through it again today when I’m done and see how I feel about it.

And just like my novel, the goal is to keep moving forward. While an agent that I was extremely excited about rejected me, I can only silently thank them for their feedback, and improve my work for the next agent I’ll send it to. With that in mind, I’m going to dust myself off and get back to work. After all, there’s got to be someone out there who will be just as excited about Over the Edge as I am. I just have to find them.

I will.